Sunday, August 23, 2009

Retrograde





Retrograde is an awful film starring Dolph Lundgren. Dolph, seeming to be barely conscious throughout the film, stars as John Foster, a man from the 24th century sent into the past to stop a horrible virus from eradicating humanity. See, what happened was this horrible virus eradicated most of humanity, but somehow, civilization, even while battling off the worst plague in the history of mankind, was able to advance themselves enough to invent not just spaceships but time-traveling spaceships as well. Foster takes advantage of this technology to travel back in time to the turn of the 21st century. While he's there, some other guys who went back in time with him change their mind about wanting to save humanity, and instead they decide to have some vague goal about "controlling the past to control the future." They try to kill Foster.

While avoiding bullets from futuristic guns, Foster meets up with the crew of a research ship in Antarctica. See, the research ship was the original discoverers of the plague, and Foster is apparently supposed to stop them or blow them up or something. Anyway, he becomes friends with the crew, and together they plan to stop the bad guys that flew in with Foster from doing whatever they were planning on doing. Somewhere in here there's something about a virus, but I think the filmmaker forgot to include it.

There are some pretend fight scenes, some awful sound effects, and some really bad space CGI. Also, the following exchange (which actually occured in the film), which I believe mirrors the conversation between the producer and the director after they looked at their finished product:

Man #1: "Oh my god..."

Man #2: "Months of work.... fucked."

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

It appears I took a leave of absence.

It's over now. Updates will resume tomorrow.