Terminator Salvation

This franchise was on life support after Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, and I had high hopes for this film after seeing the bleak post-apocalyptic and Nine Inch Nails scored theatrical trailer. Sadly, I was disappointed. This franchise is now dead.

Let's imagine that, a year ago, McG (yes, that's the director's actual name) had approached me to fashion for him a moneymaking sequel to this franchise. If I was to think of ways to fuck up this franchise before this film was created, I would have suggested the following:

- We need to sell as many tickets as possible. This film is the fourth in a series of all R-Rated films, but we should still make it PG-13. This way, kids under 18 will be able to see it. Let's ignore the fact that they would have had to see three R-Rated films beforehand. This will also allow us to get rid of all the horrible things in the previous films like gratuitous violence and intense action sequences. I don't think anyone enjoyed those.

- There was too much focus on character development in the previous films. For example, in Terminator there were only 3 characters: Sarah Conner, Kyle Reese, and the Terminator. This allowed for way too much character development and puts too much demand on quality story telling. We need a solution to this. You know what's all the rage today? Large rag-tag groups of people from all different backgrounds. This is what made films like Resident Evil and Doom such a great success. We can have one Black guy, one butt-kicking girl, one devoted wife, hell... we'll think of some others. The point is that with all these people we won't have to focus on character development at all!

And thus this film would be written. Hopefully in twenty years Skynet can send a terminator back in time to kill me so this film will never be made (and I will never have to see it).

Everything that's wrong with this film is the fault of it being put in the hands of the MTV generation. The director's previous credits include such ADHD-fests as Charlies Angels (and the sequel) and numerous music videos. Because of his idiocy, this film is all over the place. One minute it's chugging along as a great post-apocalyptic action film (the first third is genuinely good). The next minute the film plays like a generic summer action movie, complete with "the rag-tag group of people from many backgrounds" and a music score perfect for the next Will Smith release. With such a large cast of characters, the story is all over the place and never really gets developed.

The film could have been redeemed by upping the action to ultra-violent levels, but alas... PG-13. That isn't to say that the action sequences were all bad. There were some enjoyable moments in between the banal conversation, including an awesome cameo at the end. But it came short, partially due to the rating restriction, partially due to the MTV director, and partially due to the complete lack of care I had for the undeveloped characters.

Wrestlemaniac

We're introduced to six companions traveling south to the beaches of Mexico. Their intent is to film a pornographic movie. They stop at a rest station so one of the girls can use the restroom and so the camera can get a gratuitous butt shot as she runs to the facilities. There, they meet Irwin Keyes, who you might remember as "that weird guy who played that weird guy." He gives them directions, but warns them that they'll be traveling through "Sangre de Dios," which one of the characters mistranslates as "The Blood of Christ." He says they need to avoid it at all costs. Instead, they find themselves being chased around by a fat old Mexican wrestler when they decide to film their movie in this abandoned village.

This film had potential, but man did they blow it. First off, the homocidal wrestler is played by none other than Rey Mysterio, Sr. That's right, for the last half of the film we get to see the cast murdered by an overweight retired wrestler in a lucha libre mask. It takes a small bit away from the realism when a muscle-bound 20-something is overpowered by a 51 year old fat guy.

The film attempts to redeem itself by showing us exactly three breasts, multiple chase cams behind girls in panties (including a girl who miraculously gets her daisy dukes stuck on a door handle while being chased by El Fatso and has to rip them off to escape) and a surprisingly unconventional horror ending. All of this fails to account for absolutely no suspense, excitement, or actual "horror" anywhere in the film.

Reporter

To be brief, Reporter follows New York Times columnist Nick Kristof as he searches for the perfect subject for his column regarding the genocide in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

To say more, this film is about the failure and success of journalism in both documenting the horrific events in this world and inspiring a call to action. Nick Kristof, a two time Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, attempts both of these with every column he writes. Director Eric Daniel Metzgar follows Kristof closely, only appearing a few times by audio to give observational comments on the bedlam spilling out before him.

Like an experience physician, Kristof appears immune while witnessing most horrible and tragic human events. We see him surveying a group of starving villagers. They appear to be not depressing enough, as he chooses not to make them the subject of his column. His methods may seem harsh, but in his mind he is doing the most good by writing about only the most heart-wrenching story he can find. We follow behind him until he finally locates his muse.

Playing alongside Kristof's search is another dizzying journey which takes him to the dinner table of General Nkunda, the warlord of the region. A charismatic host, Nkunda displays a subtle and ominous intensity with his words. Surrounded by soldiers with automatic weapons, he explains that he is fighting the government to free the country for the people of the Congo. Juxtaposed with the images of the starving and ravaged villagers, we see what are perhaps direct contradictions to Nkunda's claims.

Metzgar devotes a small section of the film to a phenomenon referred to as "psychic numbing." This phenomenon, he explains, is why it's so difficult to motivate the average citizen to donate to a cause. As he explains, studies were done to see how much a person would donate if shown a specific image (the example used was a photograph of a malnourished African girl). People would donate a certain amount based on seeing that image. However, if explanatory text was added showing that she was one of four million starving people, then the amount that people would donate went down. The larger the problem appeared to the average person, the more likely they would want to turn their minds off to it and not donate. This "psychic numbing" is what Kristof attempts to overcome with his writing.

We see a film like this, and we want to help. We open our wallets and say, "Take whatever you need. I can donate all the money you want." That's not enough, according to Kristof. The shortage doesn't come in the form of money, but in bodies. They need people in the Congo handing out food, educating the children, and healing the sick. That's the difficult commitment: for people to leave their lives behind and devote them to helping strangers in a completely foreign country. Donating money is easy. Making a real difference isn't.

Black Sheep

I looked around for a good copy of the poster of this film to display at the beginning of this review. When I found this image, however, I realized that it fully encapsulated everything one should expect when going to see this film. This is a film that successfully balances between horror and humor, making it a great film to enjoy with a few of your friends (provided you're all okay with seeing sheep disemboweling people).

Not to be confused with the iconic buddy comedy film of the same name, Black Sheep is a horror film about a flock of genetically altered sheep wreaking havoc on a New Zealand farm. Henry Oldfield, sheepophobic after an incident in his youth, heads home to the farm to collect his portion of an inheritance. He soon finds himself running for his life after the sheep are let loose by a cute but misguided environmentalist named Experience. Together, Henry and Experience must battle these mutant sheep and restore order to the farm.

Sound appealing? It is. Heavily borrowing from Sam Raimi's Evil Dead series, the violence is comical, over-the-top and comedic. Men are torn limb from limb, preachers are beheaded, and one villain is taken out by an explosion from ignited sheep farts. This is definitely one to add to your rental list.

The One Percent

The One Percent is an admirable effort by Jamie Johnson to expose the goals and intentions behind the richest 1 percent in America. Johnson uses his wealth and noteriety to gain access to some of the countries most powerful men, and in interviews they dance around the idea that their power and wealth has any negative affect on the country. As somewhat of a side story, Johnson continously confronts his father, a man who had the same mindset as Jamie when he was his age. His father avoids every attempt b his son to pry away at the exterior he has built up after many years.

Ultimately, Johnson's naivete hinders him from truly reaching something great with this film. Perhaps if he was armed with more knowledge about economic policy and income disparity, he would have been better equipped to debate a grumpy Milton Friedman. Without this, he comes across as a disaffected trust-fund baby rejecting his guaranteed wealth. Despite this, the film succeeds admirably in exposing the attitudes of those at the top. They reject any idea that their attempts to keep the wealth concentrated within their tiny circle does anything but good in the world. They feel that by creating their own wealth, they are helping the economy grow and ergo helping the common man. They ignore the reality of the growing income disparity in America.

Johnson's film is a tiny whistle blower being drowned out by families who own almost half of all the wealth in the country, so I feel that it will not be heard by many. I'd be interested to see Johnson's opinions on the current state of affairs following the huge change in American government since this film was produced (2006). With less of a capitalist government in power, he may feel more optimistic about the direction of the country.

This film is available free on Youtube.com, so please share it with who you can. Milton Friedman, in the film, said that congress is moved by the will of the people. As unlikely as this seems, if there is enough groundswell support maybe change can finally come.