Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wrestlemaniac



We're introduced to six companions traveling south to the beaches of Mexico. Their intent is to film a pornographic movie. They stop at a rest station so one of the girls can use the restroom and so the camera can get a gratuitous butt shot as she runs to the facilities. There, they meet Irwin Keyes, who you might remember as "that weird guy who played that weird guy." He gives them directions, but warns them that they'll be traveling through "Sangre de Dios," which one of the characters mistranslates as "The Blood of Christ." He says they need to avoid it at all costs. Instead, they find themselves being chased around by a fat old Mexican wrestler when they decide to film their movie in this abandoned village.

This film had potential, but man did they blow it. First off, the homocidal wrestler is played by none other than Rey Mysterio, Sr. That's right, for the last half of the film we get to see the cast murdered by an overweight retired wrestler in a lucha libre mask. It takes a small bit away from the realism when a muscle-bound 20-something is overpowered by a 51 year old fat guy.

The film attempts to redeem itself by showing us exactly three breasts, multiple chase cams behind girls in panties (including a girl who miraculously gets her daisy dukes stuck on a door handle while being chased by El Fatso and has to rip them off to escape) and a surprisingly unconventional horror ending. All of this fails to account for absolutely no suspense, excitement, or actual "horror" anywhere in the film.

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